(Warning: if images of organs make you squeamish, don’t scroll below instead read the text only version here: password: baby , you’ve been warned)
I really had to sit down and think long and hard if I wanted to blog about the ups and downs of Evan and I trying to become parents again. Will I want to remember this? Will anyone care? Lastly, could I deal with reliving any disappointment that may come? On the flip side of that, what if it is a great experience, what if it’s inspiring, what if, what if, what if…..blah blah blah. It’s obvious I came to the conclusion that, yes, I want to do this. This blog is about a lot of things but mostly, it’s about my life.
Before we begin, let me take you back a bit so you can understand where I’m coming from. In January of 2007, after two years of marriage, Evan and I decided we were ready to start a family. So we stopped doing anything preventative and let nature take it’s course. A year passes by, two, three, four, ok I’m getting concerned and you might be thinking why wasn’t I concerned sooner? Kids was always something Evan and I wanted, it was always in the plans but when it didn’t happen right away, I wasn’t worried. I was still young, we were happy and in love, and I figured it would happen when it was suppose to but after 4 years we knew something wasn’t right.
I talked to my doctor about getting some testing done because we knew by now, it should have happen. He did some testing on me and my hormones but they came back perfect. Next step? Test Evan and so we did. His test came back with some issues. Low motility and morphology aka the count is great but they don’t swim very well and aren’t properly shaped. With Evan’s schedule and deployments, it look another two years to get things straighten out and for us to move on to more in-depth tests for me.
In December of 2014, I had my first appointment with Dr. Ripps and the testing commenced. Lots of blood test, Ultrasounds, and one painful dye test, we had all the results back and ready to go over them with Dr. Ripps. I wasn’t expecting the news he gave us. He said I had a low egg reserve and we should go straight to in vitro fertilization (IVF). I was upset! I was upset that this was my fault and I couldn’t understand why. It didn’t make any sense to me and so asked what else can be done besides IVF. We wanted to do this as naturally as possible. I wasn’t ready to throw in the towel already, I want to do everything else before we went to the last resort. He explained the problem might be endometriosis. What the….. I don’t have endometriosis….at least I don’t think I do? Shouldn’t I know something like this by now? There was only one way to find out, laparoscopic exploratory surgery. I freaken hate surgery but I didn’t hesitate to proceed, if this was going to give me my child, I’d do it.
So, on February 11, 2015, I went in and it turned out, they found endometriosis, lots of it. I had stage 3 which was a big surprise. They lasered off what they could, removed a staple left from a pervious surgery, and sent me on my way. In March, I took medication and hormone shots to raise the hope of getting pregnant but unfortunately, all the time and effort was for not, I didn’t become pregnant. Evan and I planned if we couldn’t conceive naturally by June, we would start IVF. April 2015, Evan had to go away for 2 weeks, we calculated my cycle and figured the chances of him being home when I ovulated were slim so we shouldn’t go through the medication and injections again. That stuff is expensive. We would start anew in May. Right after he left my family came into town for 2 weeks and I left my worry behind and just had fun at Disney and at the beach. Fast forward 2 weeks and Evan returns and life resumes back to normal.
The day I was suppose to get my period, I took a pregnancy test just for good measure and it was negative as I knew it would be. I was feeling crampy and knew it would be here any moment. Days go by, and now it’s almost a week later. Still feeling crampy and bloated I couldn’t understand why I hadn’t started to bleed yet. Well I had one pregnancy test left, and right away it came out positive. You may know the rest is history. If you haven’t read what happens next, click here.
We are now at present day, it’s been 5 months since my miscarriage and we are ready to start over once again. We had to wait an extra 2 month for my husband to return from deployment. I’m 13 days into my cycle and it’s time to start testing my ovulation and getting ready for the big show. (We got our smiley face today)
It’s going to be a journey With a little patience, luck, and timing, I’m praying we will achieve step one….get knocked up!