It’s amazing how TTC (trying to conceive) can make you feel like you are going crazy. It can consume your every waking thought. Especially, when the moment you open your eyes you need to take your temperature (temping is when you track your ovulation by your Basal Body Temperature).
This past cycle was especially trying because I really thought I was pregnant. I was weepy, crampy, and not to mention, I was 2 days late. Only problem was, I couldn’t get a positive pregnancy test to save my life. That’s when the google came into play. I didn’t know when I ovulated because I didn’t temp last cycle and my opk(ovulation prediction kit) was just wrong, so wrong I think. Not knowing when I ovulated is an issue because I don’t know how many dpo(days past ovulation) I am and that’s when the guessing and pleading start.
I was reading that it can take a few days after your missed period to come up with a positive test and because my first pregnancy I got a NOT PREGNANT on a digital the day of my missed period, I don’t know what my body is doing. It’s all so confusing and makes getting your period all that much upsetting and discouraging.
I miss the days of just seeing what happens and not really worrying or thinking too much about it. Those days are long gone now. I’m on the wrong side of 30 and I don’t have that luxury any longer. It’s a must to analyze every little twinge, every symptom, every little feeling because it could mean I am pregnant.
My journey continues on. If we are unsuccessful this cycle, we are going back to the fertility doctor to see where he thinks we should go from here. I can already hear him saying the dreaded term, the one that makes my stomach turn…IVF. Don’t get me wrong, IVF is great for people like me who have a hard time conceiving but I so want to do this as naturally as possible (not to mention it cost a small fortune).
Please pray for us and wish us luck! My appointment is set for January 27th. Lord, I’m just praying that we don’t need it but I’m glad it’s there. Everyone needs a Plan B sometimes.