There is no doubt military life can get lonely. Not just for our men and women in uniform but for the spouses as well. With the constant trips they take and deployments, which goes without saying, lots of time is spent apart.
This is why our relationships outside of our homes are so important. The BFF is an essential part of our survival. There is no better time spent than with someone you can talk to and just be yourself. Not to mention if you are in need of help due to the dreaded deployment curse. That’s when everything just goes completely wrong the moment they walk out the door and you’re left to pick up the pieces all by yourself.
What if you don’t have a BFF? GASP!
It’s always incredibly sad when a military friend or best friend moves away. In my case, I always seemed to get left behind. I was the last of my friends to leave Little Rock. Everyone had moved months even over a year before I did. That was one of the reasons I was ready to move away from Little Rock. My husband was away for 8 months in New Mexico which left me extremely lonely. I could have went on and made new friends, sure, but the sad truth was I was going to be leaving them too very soon.
So what do you do when you are friendless, childless, and have way too much time on your hands? I’m so glad you asked because I have 6 suggestions for you that will keep you sane and happy while you are waiting for your beloved to return.What if you don't have a BFF? GASP! Click To Tweet
Get A Job Or Volunteer
This is probably the most obvious answer, I know I know but sometimes it’s overlooked. When you think about filling your time, you think it should all be fun and games. Yea, that’s great for a portion of your day but if you really want to do something worth while that can help people and yourself, getting a job or volunteering is an awesome way to achieve that.
When my husband left for his extended TDY, I left my job so I could travel and visit family. I was also fortunate enough to be able to visit him in New Mexico for a week or so. Traveling to see friends and family that live far away is a great way to pass the time and reconnect with those that matter. It’s good for the heart and soul. You can also take a vacation solo to someplace you’ve always wanted to go. Want to go on a cruise but hubby gets seasick? Now is the perfect time to do that! You can make friends on the boat or better yet grab a friend and have a girl’s travel date!
Take Yourself On A Date
So maybe you can’t really afford for one reason or another to travel. I can understand this completely. When my husband first commissioned, our budget was pretty tight because of moving and being a one income family. A great alternative is taking yourself out on a date. Dinner and movie with yourself isn’t as lonely as it seems. I’ve done it many times and its always lifted my spirits even if I am eating alone. Sometimes it’s more enjoyable to watch movie alone. Just saying.
Adopt Or Buy A Pet
This is something else I’ve done myself. 5 years ago before my husband deployed again for the 5th time, I told him I was going to get a dog. I have been wanting one for sometime but Evan was refusing. About 6 month, prior to his leaving, he was not completely on board but I knew I had broke him down…finally. Two weeks after he left and I had completed my show (I was acting in a dinner theatre at the time), I went and looked at the puppies. I had done all my research. I knew what breed I wanted and I knew this place had them. I fell in love with the most handsome boy and made a deposit. That Fall I was so busy with potty training and obedience class I didn’t have to think about how lonely I was. Leo is now my faithful companion and I’m blessed to have him. It’s not something you should do on a whim but it’s great when you have thought it out and know it’s what you want.
Exercise In Fun And New Ways
Exercise itself is a great way to beat the loneliness blues but what can really take it up a notch is trying something brand new. I already lift weights, walk, and do yoga but I’ve always wanted to try Pole Fitness. I’m so glad I did! You can read my review on Pole Fitness here. Not only was it great exercise but it was something new that my body had never experienced. It was challenging and fun to learn how to do all the moves and routines. It was also a place to meet people and chit chat which always automatically makes you feel less lonely.
Go Get Your Hair Did
Pampering myself always takes away the blues. Wether it’s getting a new hair cut or a massage just do something to feel good about yourself. It’s a day well spent, hopefully with people you like and can have a conversation with. It also builds your self-esteem so it has many advantages for your mental state. If you don’t have the extra cash then you can do the same thing at home. Give yourself a facial, do your own nails, do that full body mask you have always wanted to do. It can be a lot of fun and take up loads of time thas t’ll spent on yourself.
When You Need An Immediate Solution…Take A Bath
This is my go to time and time again. If you are sick, lonely, depressed, ANYTHING. Take a long, hot, bubble bath and everything will seem to feel better. I know some of you don’t like to take baths but showers can have the same effect. The warmth and sound of the water are what always calms me down. When all else fails, get in the bath!
I really hope some of these will help you the next time you are in a situation were your spouse is gone for a long time. Our lives aren’t normal or easy so we just have to be more creative, patient, and think outside the box. You were destined to be a military spouse. I know you can do it! We are in this together.
What would you add to this list to cope with being lonely when your spouse is away?