Putting your life and your infertility issues out there for the world to see isn’t easy. Most people commend me for doing so; some tip toe around the questions, and the rest don’t even mention it at all. Why do I say it isn’t easy? Not because I don’t want to talk about it, (obviously I do; that’s why I write about it) and not because infertility sucks balls, (though it does) but because of how people treat me differently. This post might come too little too late but none the less, I need to say these things.
Don’t take my posts to heart…
Do you ever read someone’s FB status and think: is she talking about me? Even though you didn’t do anything she’s writing about, you still feel like you did something wrong? Why do we do this? Have you ever heard the saying, “What people think of me is none of my business?” If you haven’t, you’re welcome. We should all live by this statement.
My posts are never directed to a person. It’s more of a frustration with myself really. I see and feel things and writing just helps me get them out. It’s my therapy and virtual Xanax, really. At the same time, I’m hoping to reach out to my TTC sisters; letting them know that they aren’t alone. Just know, if you ever felt personally attacked by one of my posts: I’m so sorry. It’s not about you. Promise, bitch.
You don’t have to cut me out of your life….
You may have slowly backed out of my life after reading some of my infertility post. If it’s because you think I’m a crazy, baby-hungry bitch, that’s ok. Maybe because you’ve seen a side of me you don’t like at all. Yeah, I can accept that too. If it’s because you have kids and you think it’s going to hurt me to see them and you being an awesome mom? Stop right there. If I’m your friend and choose to be around you, it’s because I care about you and your kids. If I love you there is nothing you can do to hurt me when it comes to kids and being a mom.I won't break....I promise! Click To Tweet
You aren’t hurting me with that child’s birthday invitation or your baby shower celebration. I love celebrating the seasons of your life. Truly. Don’t cut me out because you don’t want to hurt me. Cutting me out is what hurts me. Give me the benefit of the doubt. Let me decide if I have the strength to do it. If nothing else, you or your kid will get a gift. Isn’t that worth it at least? Now if I met you two minutes ago and want me at your shower, then I may say “bye, bitch” without too much guilt.
Don’t be afraid to ask me a question…
I absolutely and 100% welcome them! I encourage them. Don’t be sorry to ask me either. No need to apologize. Let’s get that tension out of the way. I’m not sad to talk about my experiences, I don’t freak out or cry. I can have conversations about it and be perfectly fine. Some women can’t do this but most of us can. If we are open and are tell the world about it in a blog, we can talk about it in person. Ask way, I promise I won’t break.
I’m still me…
At the end of the day, I’m still me. I’m still that women you met. We all have something we need to deal with. Money, sickness, bad relationships … I could go on and on. Infertility just happens to be my Kryptonite. Yes, I’m more open than most so I’ll have to take the consequences of my actions. That means the questions, the awkwardness, the feeling uncomfortable. I’ll gladly take them if I can help someone who is hurting. I just hope beyond hope that you can look past this barren woman and see me for who and what I am. Those who know me, know that I’m a kick ass friend and I’d hate for you to miss out on that.
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